Bumper Stickers

I never thought I’d miss Nixon.

Well, at least the war on the environment is going well.  Jesus loves me, this I know – that is why I don’t drive slow!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don’t believe everything you think.

My feminine side is lesbian.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

I’m schizophrenic and so am I.

Cats make everything taste better.

Stable relationships are for horses.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Just say NO to negativity 

I thought I was indecisive; now I’m not so sure.

I’ve heard about the evils of drinking beer, so I gave up reading.

Beer doesn’t make you fat. It makes you lean (against doors, tables, walls).

My dog is smarter than your honor student.

I feel better after I wine a little.

The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

Sorry if I look interested, I’m not!

When I want your opinion, I’ll beat it out of you.

I love animals. They’re delicious.

Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

Keep on working, millions on welfare depend on you!

I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!

kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send $10 to me.

Want a little taste of religion? Bite the minister.

I didn’t believe in reincarnation in my last life, either!

My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in most states.

My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.

Don’t believe everything you think.

Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!

I don’t think, therefore I am not.

Jesus is coming. Look busy!

Say “NO” to drugs. That will bring the prices down.

Jesus loves you. But I’m his favorite.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

If it ain’t broke, take it apart and fix it.

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

The control key on the keyboard does not work.

The meek shall inherit the earth, after we’re through with it.

Being “over the hill” is much better than being under it!

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

Jesus loves you! Everybody else thinks you’re a jerk.

Every time you open your mouth, some idiot starts talking.

I found Jesus – he was behind the sofa all the time.

Don’t make me mad. I’m running out of places to hide the bodies.

I plan to live forever. So far, so good!

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

On the journey of life, I choose the psycho path.

On your mark, get set, go away!

 

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

Let’s skip the insults and get right down to your butt kicking!Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn’t have the ability.

If you can read this, you’re not the president.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

All men are idiots, and I married their King.

Who are these children, and why do they keep calling me Mom?

The trouble with life is there’s no background music.

Mop and Glo – The floor wax used by Three-Mile-Island cleanup team.

NyQuil – The stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Gravity: It’s not just a good idea. It’s the law.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

You – Off my planet.

If you are what you eat, I’m fast, cheap and easy.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…?

Warning: Dates on calendar are closer than they appear.

I’m not crazy, I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 30 years.

Allow me to introduce my selves.

Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren’t asleep.

I can’t remember if I’m the good twin or the evil one.

There’s no place like 127.0.0.1

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

I’m supposed to back up my hard drive, but how do I put it into reverse?

You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.

Earth is full. Go home.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

Nyquil: the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-hell-is-the-room-spinning medicine.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Getting on your feet means getting off your butt.

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

First National Bank of Dad; Sorry, closed.

In dog years, I’m dead!

South Korea’s got Seoul!

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

The trouble with the gene pool is that there’s no lifeguard.

God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.

IRS: Be Audit You Can Be

My mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.

Senior Citizen: Give me my damn discount!

(Spotted on a passing motorcycle): If you can read this, my wife fell off!

I used to be schizophrenic, but we’re OK now.

Wanted: Meaningful overnight relationship.

I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.

Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.

A day without sunshine is like night.

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

Old age comes at a bad time.

If going to church makes you a Christian, does going into a garage make you a car?

In America, anyone can be president. That’s one of the risks you take.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

Beer: It’s not just for breakfast anymore.

So you’re a feminist. Isn’t that cute?

I need someone real bad. Are you real bad?

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

The more you complain the longer God makes you live.

I R S: We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.

Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.

Reality is a crutch for people who can’t handle drugs.

Out of my mind – back in five minutes.

Without ME, it’s just AWESO.

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.

Life would be easier if I had the source code.

Hang up and drive.

Nebraska: At least the cows are sane.

God must love stupid people. He made SO many.

I said “no” to drugs, but they didn’t listen.

Your kid may be an Honor Student, but YOU’RE still an idiot.

I fish, therefore I lie.

Smile, it’s the second best thing you can do with your lips.

I took an IQ test and the results were negative.

Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.

If catapults are outlawed, only outlaws will have catapults.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Don’t drink and drive. You might hit a bump and spill your drink.

Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

Honk If you want to see my finger.

God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier.

I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit.

Keep honking while I reload.

Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, either!

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

EARTH FIRST! We’ll strip-mine the other planets later.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Save the whales! Trade them for valuable prizes.

Whitewater is over when the First Lady sings.

Jack Kevorkian for White House physician.

My wife keeps complaining I never listen to her (or something like that).

Constipation causes people not to give a crap.

Sure you can trust the government! Just ask a native American!

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix. Never drink and derive.

Stop repeat offenders. Don’t re-elect them!

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.

What if the hokey pokey is really what it’s all about?

If at first you don’t succeed, call it version 1.0!

Driver carries no cash. He’s married.

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

Karaoke bars combine two of the nation’s greatest evils: people who shouldn’t drink with people who shouldn’t sing.

If I get you advantage, can I take drunk of you?

Watch out for the idiot behind me.

I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol!

So you’re kids no honor student. Society needs laborers.

Honk if you hate peace and quiet.

I have the body of a god. Buddha.

In case of rapture, can I have your car?

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

Your stupid!

When cryptography is outlawed, bayl bhgynjf jvyy unir cevinpl.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

Don’t bother honking or flashing your lights, I’m deaf and blind.

Honk if you’ve never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.

Time is nature’s way of keeping everything from happening all at once.

If it isn’t broken, fix it until it is.

Thank God I’m an atheist.

Never knock on Death’s door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

Some days it’s just not worth gnawing through the leather straps.

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

New Mexico: Cleaner than regular Mexico.

Jesus died for my sins and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

If you’re happy and you know it see a shrink.

Vegetarian: Indian word for lousy hunter.

Worry. God knows all about you.

I drive the speed limit. If you don’t like it, call a cop!

Vote Democrat – it’s easier than working!

Vote Republican – it’s easier than thinking!

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.

Squirrels: Nature’s speed bumps.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Source:http://funny2.com/bumper.htm

Winners of the “I Look Like My Dog” Contest

Source:http://www.flyaboveall.com/dogs.htm

‘You’ve got to find what you love,’ Jobs says

This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My second story is about love and loss.

I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don’t settle.

My third story is about death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I’m fine now.

This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope its the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

Source:http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Random

The highest glass elevator in the world is situated in China and conveys tourists to the top of a 1070-feet hill.

i know e last one is quite old..but still it never fails to make me laugh..so here it is again jus for tat..

Many Many and Many..

All the orkut users know that there are many communities in orkut, correct.

There are communities for Kamalhassan and many of his movies.

After seeing them, I feel like that I should a post on KamalHassan, whom in my opinion is a very gd actor with v gd imagination. And maybe even considered the king in the Cinema field.

My all time favourite of Kamal’s is mundram pirai. The movie he acted with Sri Devi. Firstly they have great chemistry. They look good together and compliment each other’s character very well. There has not been a single instance when i didnt cry seeing the ending. For that matter I dont even need to see the scene..Imagining the scene is good enough to make me cry. He damn good, I have no words.

And my another favourite would be devar magan. The main reason for liking this movie is coz of the 2 great stars in one movie. When I saw sivaji and kamal together in this movie, I felt as i was seeing two huge mountains together.. And esp the part wen kamal changes his appearance to look like sivaji’s after sivaji passes away. That is the best part of the movie and my favourite.

The next movie that I would always remember is anbe sivam. A simple msg in a very unique way. The way the movie ended. The way kamal carried himself through out the movie. The msg is a deep one but informed in a very simple way. This movie touched my heart greatly. And it should have for many others. But sadly it didnt. I also liked the communism painting shown in the movie. I feel that its something different from all other movies. Not many dare to bring out a communism theme in a movie. I know there was communism theme in boyz and thambi. Bt that scenes didnt make me think or get amazed like in anbe sivam.

Another movie that made me think was Hey Ram. I know it was a very controversial movie. And when the ending came, I realised that Kamal himself didnt want to take a different view. Maybe he didnt have a different view or maybe he didnt want to offend more ppl den he already have..Even though it was violent at some points in the movie, he still did a gd job of showin the same msg in a different view..

of course there are many more movies which i like of kamal’s. actually I would say i like almost all movies of Kamal’s. But these, I will never forget. They are different and thought provoking and amazing.

Lost…

So i have been away for a very very long time….

So many things have happened in that time.

but many of many things wont be stated here coz ey are meant only for my heart. not for all eyes..:)..

School is going on fine. Other then the shouting and at times chasing..haha… There was a workshop this saturday. And I was part of it. It was quite fun…haha..

And then on Thurs, I went out with V and S to shop for tops. They paid of course. I’ve got 3 tops for my birthday. It was a fulfilling day..

Last week I almost had a heart attack. But I am very relieved and happy that it went away with the suddeness that it came with..

My current addication is Kana Kannum Kalangal…

This serial is about school kids. Very funny..Esp the characters black Bandi and Pachai..And at times touching and of course irritating also..What is frenship without some irritation..right..

I like all the episodes..but with e recent episodes, I am quite irritated with the character Veenith. Becoz of him, the whole +2 level is goin to be humilated in a cricket match.

Along this line, In reality I have realised that expectations gives a lot of heart aches. I think I have said this same thing before..

But till now i didnt know how to keep it out of my life. And even at this moment I wont say that I have learnt fully how to keep expectations out of my life.. but I guess I have learnt how to adapt to it. Keep my expectations low. At least try..

Too much emotions just drain’s a person’s energy. And I have no such energy to spent. Once I did, and I lost it totally. And I am not willing to try again. I will leave everything to GOD and just carry on with life. Keep my optimism close to me. Anyways I decided when I started this blog itself that I am not goin to write sad stuff. So i shall not think abt it constantly. Before I end of, I would like to share two poems I found online. One is quite funny and the other is quite true(I guess..)

English is Tough Stuff

 

Dearest creature in creation
Study English pronunciation
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye you dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

 

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words and plaque and argue.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem and toe.

 

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

 

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should or would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation’s OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

 

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
and then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

 

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem very little,
we say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific.

 

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

 

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

 

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Does not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

 

Pronunciation � think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won’t it make you loose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wright,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

 

Finally, which rhymes with enough �
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!

 

Author unknown

Girls

 

 Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don’t want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid
of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that isn’t as good, but easy. So the apples at the top think something is wrong with
them, when in reality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right
boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top
of the tree.

 

 borrowed from megan